Best Friends, Boring Friends

[karened]

Title: Best Friends, Boring Friends 
Rating: General
Character(s): Yamashita Tomohisa
Pairing: None
Genre: Friendship, Real life 
Word Count: 3,808 
Note: Commissioned by aqua_candy under the Haiti earthquake relief efforts.
Summary: When you have a dork as your best friend...
A/N: I'm not a big YamaP fan, so the characterisation may be off, as it's based on my very surface-deep impression. The fanfic ended up more than thrice of the commissioned length, and may not score well in the humour department, but I hope you like it!

"Yabe¹..." Yamashita grabbed the tattered army green slingbag off his shaky shelf and ran out of his room with a checkered shirt in his other hand. "I'm going to be late!"

"A date?" came a voice.

"Well, you can say that. Nee-chan², I can't talk now," Yamashita replied hurriedly as he stepped out of the small apartment he shared with his sister. "She'll kill me if I'm late!"

Clasping his bag tightly between his chin and neck, Yamashita freed his hands and slipped on his shirt as he hurried down the flight of rusty metal steps.  He was barely halfway down when a familiar figure sitting at the bottom of the stairs made him slow to a stop. "Yurie-chan?" he called out.

He couldn't see the expression on Yurie's face, but the lack of a response suggested that she didn't hear him; this wasn't surprising for it was this tendency to space out that brought them together. "Yurie?" he repeated more loudly as he approached her with bouncy steps, causing the steps to creak under his feet. 

"Hey, Yur...AH!"

All he remembered seeing before a sharp pain struck his knees was a flash of Yurie's orange sneakers. "Ite³..." he groaned with a painful expression, bringing a hand to his lips to brush off the mud that had gotten stuck there. Cranning his neck upwards to look at Yurie, he started, "What the heck were you trying to-"

Yamashita stopped short of finishing his sentence when he caught that expression on Yurie's face. They've known each other since their first year in high school and throughout the past three years, they've seen all sides of each other. So, when he saw that blank look on Yurie's face, and that fleeting frown that tugged at her brows, he knew that this wasn't her usual tantrum. It wasn't another attempt to abuse their close friendship; it was his most dreaded moment.

Picking himself up from the ground, Yamashita brushed off the dirt from the front of his tee and asked, "If I broke a leg and weekly sales at the conbini⁴ fell, how are you going to appease the store manager?"

Ignoring his accusation, Yurie glanced up at Yamashita and asked casually, "Going to the tuition center again?"

"Yeah, I'll never be able to get into a decent university with the grades I've been scoring," he mumbled, picking up the slingbag a few meters from where he fell. "Ah, it tore."


"Sa-kun is so careless," Yurie commented, shaking her head in disapproval.

"Careless? Me?" Yamashita took his eyes off the frayed end of the torn strap and eyed Yurie with an animated look of frrustration. "And didn't I say not to call me that? What are you doing here anyway? I haven't seen you much outside of school ever since I fell to second on your priority list."
 

"There's no one around anyway... Demo... Sa-kun, doesn't class start at 7.30?" Yurie asked, one of her well-shaped brows arching up deviously.

"I know, I know. If there's nothing you want to talk to me about, I'm going off already," Yamashita turned his back against Yurie and went to push his bike out from beneath the stairs. Still keeping his back against her, he probed lightly once more as he dropped his bag into the front basket and mounted the aged piece of metal. "Is there anything?"

"I..." came a faint voice.

Holding his breath, Yamashita listened hard for her next words, but instead of the expected emotional outburst, what followed was a loud yell from just behind his ears. "Sa-kun, let's go on a ride! Off to the tuition center!"

"My ears!" Yamashita shouted as he jumped away from the sound. He looked behind and found Yurie sitting at the back of his bike. "Yurie, aren't you wearing that really short school skirt of yours?"

"Yes, and...?"

"Then you can't ride a bike, right?" Yamashita half-scolded her in exasperation, turning to face the front again. "Get off quickly. I'm really going to be late." 

As he waited for Yurie to get off his bike, Yamashita felt a light pressure on his waist. Looking down, he spotted a pair of hands slipping around his waist; it was Yurie's hands and her nails with their uneven edges, chipped the way they had always been since their first acquaintance. Those naturally beautiful hands. But Yamashita was not to be fooled by those seemingly innocent hands. Releasing the handles of his bike, he made a swift grab for her hands just as they clasped around the edges of his shirt, ready to strip it off him.

Her plan foiled, Yurie had no choice but to attempt a Plan B, although those had never worked well with Yamashita. Still, she wanted to try her luck. There's a limit to the number of bad things that can befall a person in a single day, right? "But Sa-kun, I need it to cover my legs," Yurie pleaded in a voice that made her a good specimen of a stereotypical Japanese woman.

"Don't you always carry a cardigan in your bag?" Yamashita replied in an unaffected voice, too aware of what Yurie was trying to do.

"Use your own cardigan unless you want your son's future godfather to die from the winter chill."

"You're so dramatic!' Yurie chided. "Whatever, let's just go."  

And so they did, with Yamashita speeding down the pavements in a mad rush to make it for Tigeress Sensei's⁵ class, and with Yurie making angry faces behind him as she struggled to keep her skirt in place. Irritated by Yurie's subbornness in riding pillion, Yamashita pushed the peddles with all his might, and so when the traffic signal suddenly changed at the crossroad, his sudden braking nearly lifted the bike's rear tire off the ground.

"Sorry," Yamashita apologised casually as they waited for the signal to go.

He was doing a silent countdown to the change of signals when he heard a sniff from behind. Stiffening his back, he glanced towards the mirror attached to the right handle and saw Yurie brushing the back of her hands against traces of tears on her cheeks.

Alarmed, he turned backwards and stammered, "Yu-Yurie..."

"Don't look!" Yurie cried in a shaky voice, dropping her head to avoid Yamashita's eyes.

"Ok, ok," Yamashita replied as he, too, turned away to avoid her eyes, unsure of how to react.

When she did not respond, Yamashita continued hesitantly, "Gomen⁶ ne. I rode too fast, right? I'm sorry."

"That's right. It's Sa-kun's fault..." Yurie's voice trailed off weakly. "If not for you, this wouldn't have happened..."

Pretending not to have heard her last sentence, Yamashita took his foot off the peddle and balanced the bike with his legs. In one smooth movement he pulled the checkered shirt off and held it out to Yurie, still not looking at her. "Here."

Yurie looked up at the crumpled piece of fabric waving at her from the side and pulled it away from Yamashita, a mischievious smile playing out on her face in spite of the tears that were still streaming down her cheeks. Bringing the shirt closer to her face, she took a sniff at it and was disgruntled by the smell of fresh dirt that teased her nose. "Sa-kun! You ought to pay more attention to hygene! This stinks."

"No one asked you to smell it!" Yamashita said, irritated. "Just tie it aro-"

He was interupted by a sound from behind, and it took him no longer than a second to realise what it was.

"YURIE!" he looked backwards and snapped. "I didn't give it to you to blow your nose!"

"Sou⁷? Demo daijyoubu jan⁸?" Yurie replied. "Let's go! We have 5 minutes before class starts."

Surrendering to this friend of his, Yamashita started riding in the direction of the tuition center, this time more slowly, because his mind was occupied with the oddness of Yurie's behaviour. Behind him, Yurie tugged the piece of soiled tissue in her bag before tying a tight knot with the shirt's sleeves around her waist. With his concentration off the roads and his speed decreased, Yamashita reached the tuition center 5 minutes past the class time.

"Yabe... She's going to kill me," Yamashita said nervously, scratching his head as he parked his bike against the wall outside the monochromatic, whitewashed building.

Next to him was Yurie, who was still wearing the shirt around her waist, although in the other direction. "Well, just skip class! There're so many students, she won't recognise you anyway!"

"You know she will," Yamashita said a-matter-of-factly, pulling his slingbag out of the basket as he walked towards the entrance to the imposing building. Unable to come up with an explanation for Yurie's behaviour, he had decided to put it aside till he finishes class. He'll deal with what comes first.

"Then just quit the classes! There's nothing good about university anyway!" Yurie suggested, racing in front of Yamashita and blocking his path.

Pressed for time and wanting to get into the building, away from the cold gusts of November wind that was blowing down the streets, Yamashita's temper broke as he raised his voice and said curtly, "Yurie, this is no time for your tantrums. I have class! I don't know what's wrong with you today, but if you need to vent it all out, go find senpai⁹, ok? Isn't that why you wanted a ride? His apartment is nearby, right?"

At that the playful pout on Yurie's face faded off and was replaced by a stiff smile. Stepping back slowly, she said, "Nevermind then. I'm going home."

The same blank look came back as Yurie spun around and started to walk off in brisk steps. Worried by that look, Yamashita jogged after her and tapped her on the shoulder. With urgency in his voice, he asked, "Oi. What's wrong with you?"

"It's none of your business!" Yurie shouted furiously as she turned to face Yamashita. Not giving him a chance to react to her fury, she continued with an expression that matched the intensity of the words that followed. "I hate university! I hate Sa-kun too!"

With that, she stomped off, not once looking back at the stunned Yamashita, whose brain was rendered incompetent of logical thinking by her outburst. Yurie was a very straightforward person who wore her emotions on her face, and it was obvious, at least to Yamashita, whenever she tried to put on any pretense. The last time she got truly angry with him was when he stole a piece of sushi from the bento box she had spent an hour preparing for his basketball team senpai. Yet, all that Yamashita was subjected to back then were words like "Sa-kun no baka¹⁰!" and "You're so irritating! Go away!" and her ignoring him for a full week. So, when he heard her say with all seriousness that she hated him, something in him tensed up and the feeling of unease refused to leave him. Nearly tripping as he took off, he ran after Yurie just as she turned the corner.

"Yurie!" he called out as he turned sharply at the corner after her, nearly crashing into a group of students. "Gomen!" he managed to say as he chased after Yurie.

When he finally caught up with her, Yamashita decided to ease the tension from before. Stepping towards her right, he tapped her shoulder and held a finger there; it poked Yurie's cheek when she turned her head instinctively. Not tickled by that, she took a long glare at Yamashita instead before continuing to walk on with increased pace. But Yamashita wouldn't let her leave just like that. Taking big steps, he managed to catch up with her once more and strided on next to her.

"Ah!" he cried out suddenly. "Is it that time of the month?"

Sighing loudly, Yurie replied coldly without stopping, "Yeah yeah. I'm bleeding so much, it hurts and I'm dying."
He couldn't explain it, but Yamashita could sense some truth in what she said, so he continued walking with her, keeping a faint smile on. "Sou ka? Then let's go get some crepes. You'll feel better after that."

"Sa-kun, you're really slow," Yurie said as she stopped at a traffic light. "And what are you doing here instead of in class?"

"Ah, didn't I tell you? I came to get my shirt back. It'll be really cold by the time class ends." Reading the time off his watch, he added with a nonchalent shrug, "Gosh, it's 7.45 already! I'll be fried if I were to go in there right now... Maa¹¹, I guess it's better to just feign illness, huh?"

Yurie said nothing to that and continued walking. Unsure of what to do, Yamashita could only follow. After walking in silence for 10 minutes, he found himself waiting outside shop after shop in a shopping mall as Yurie fluttered between the rows of shops in pursuit of...something. He only found out what it was after the 15th shop. Feeling uneasy about the upcoming English quiz, he had taken out his vocab revision cards and was attempting to memorise the foreign letters when he got called into the dazzlingly decorated shop.

"Sa-kun, which do you think suits me better?" Yurie asked, holding two pieces of cardigans in her hands. One was black based with narrow stripes of varying shades of grey running down vertically. The other was white based with a network of multicoloured hearts printed on it.

Taking a quick look, Yamashita pointed to the white one. "This one I guess."

"I think the black one is more suitable."

"Take that then. They both look good."

"Alright, I'll take the black one," Yurie informed the shop assistant. "He'll pay for it."

"What? I'll pay for it?" Yamashita repeated. 

"Yup. You made me lose my cardigan," Yurie said before leaving the shop with the cardigan in her hands.

"Chotto matte yo¹²," he cried after her. But she was soon away from the shop, leaving Yamashita alone under the watchful eyes of the shop assistant. Turning to the tall woman, he asked nervously, "How much was that?"

His heart skipped a beat when she told him it was 9,500 yen. Pulling out his wallet, he fished out the only piece of note he had in the piece of faux leather and unwillingly put it into the tray held by the anxious shop assistant. As the happy woman went behind the counter to issue him a receipt, Yamashita took the other piece of cardigan and checked the attached price tag: 6,000 yen.

When Yamashita left the shop with the newly printed piece of paper in his wallet, he found Yurie waiting at a small cafe tugged away at a corner of the mall just a short distance away. Smiling at Yamashita as he approached her with a downcast face, she said, "Aren't I good to you? You still have 500 yen right? Enough for a cup of hot chocolate to keep yourself warm."

"Why must I buy you a cardigan?" Yamashita complained grumpily as he settled into the seat opposite Yurie. His shirt was nicely folded and resting on the table before him. "You do know that it costed the whole of my living expenses for this week, right?"

"Well, you caused me to lose mine," Yurie explained, leaning against the chair lazily.

Unconvinced, Yamashita pressed on. "Since when?"

"I left it at senpai's apartment."

"Get it back next time then."

"There's no next time," Yurie muttered softly, her eyes fixed on the glass of lemonade on the table.

"Eh?"

Raising her eyes to Yamashita's, Yurie said in a casual tone, "He broke up with me. 'You're too boring,' he said." Laughing awkwardly, she added, "I guess University girls are far more exciting than a high schooler like me."

Sitting up abruptly, Yamashita shook his head slightly. He said softly, "You're not boring. I don't think you're boring."

"Well, that's because you're boring too!" Yurie joked. "We're the boring pair!"

She reached forward for the glass of lemonade, but before she could touch it, Yamashita had already pulled it towards himself. "You shouldn't be drinking sour stuff right now. Order something sweet! You love sweet stuff right? Forget about that silly diet plan! I'll be your personal trainer if you gain any weight today. Go on, order something sweet!"

"But it'd be a waste... I haven't drank a sip!"

Without a word, Yamashita grabbed the glass and downed its contents in big gulps. The lemonade was more sour than usual and his face was soon contorted into an awkward expression. Putting down the glass, he stuck out his tongue and started fanning it furiously with his hand.

Seeing the tortured expression on his face, Yurie couldn't help but ask teasingly, "Was it good?"

"I think I'm going to need a lot of water to wash the taste down," he managed to say, rubbing a palm against his neck as if to sooth the sticky feeling engulfing his throat.

"Well, that's expected. I paid double for them to make it more concentrated!" Yurie exclaimed, throwing him a peace sign.

"Yurie, you!" Yamashita cried out when realisation hit him.

"Don't stare at me like that. It's your fault so naturally you have to make up for it."

Pointing to the cardigan Yurie was wearing, Yamashita protested furiously, "Didn't I just buy you that?"

"That was to replace the cardigan I lost. This, is for introducing me to that senpai of yours," Yurie tried to say in a willful tone, but the tears forming in her eyes made her act less than perfect. Throwing her head back, she struggled to keep the tears from flowing down.

All these Yamashita saw, but he couldn''t think of anything to do except to sit in silence and wait for Yurie to regain her composure. He shifted in his seat uncomfortably, feeling an urge to let out a cough to ease the tightness in his throat. Not wanting to to break the serious setting, he held it down and swallowed a few mouthful of saliva instead. Taking his mind off the itch developing in his throat, Yamashita searched his mind for something he could do to fill the silence and to lift the tension. But with no experience of his own, all he could come up with were standard phrases that seemed to be spoken of courtesy rather than actual concern. "I should have sat with Nee-chan when she watched those romance dramas!" Yamashita thought. He studied Yurie's expressions carefully as it changed from depressed to calm. Her lips parted as she prepared to speak. But before the words could leave her mouth, they were thrown back in by a gagging sound from across the table.

"Gomen, g-go-men," Yamashita managed to say in between bouts of coughing. He was mentally cursing himself for his untimely klutz moment.

"Well, forget it," Yurie said when she finally stopped laughing at Yamashita's sudden coughing fit. "Since you've received your punishment."

"Actually, Yurie... Is there some kind of misunderstanding between you two? Senpai doesn't seem to be that kind of person."

"He's been saying he hasn't got time to go on dates since he entered university but I saw him on the streets with another girl yesterday!" 

"Maybe... Maybe they're just fr-"

"They were holding hands." Yurie's voice trembled.

"Holding hands?" A frown creased Yamashita's forehead. Things were more terrible than he had thought; breaking up was one thing, breaking up because of a third party was another. It was no wonder why Yurie acted so out-of-character the entire evening. But indignant as he was, Yamashita did not know what to say to Yurie. He was never good with comforting words; they usually come out sounding sarcastic.

Crossing her arms on the table, Yurie gave a helpless shrug and added with a soft sigh, "In any case, I went up to his apartment just now and he said that we shared little in common and going out with me was becoming boring."

"I told you that you're not boring, right!?" Yamashita asserted sternly. Feeling guilty for having introduced his basketball team senpai to Yurie, he decided to go all out to redeem himself. "I'm much more boring than you! I... I go for tuition classes every Monday. I don't have other after-class activities other than basketball practice. I'd rather stay at home reading mangas than to go group dates with classmates. I... I...Why are you laughing?"

Yamashita stared at Yurie incredulously as she broke down laughing.

"Sa-kun, I know how boring you are," Yurie said, sweeping her fringe to the sides of her forehead. "But what does that have to do with me being boring?"

Yamashita didn't know either, so he ignored her question and continued to babble on as he tried to make sense of his own words. "You know, senpai isn't that cool either."

His eyes racing across the table, Yamashita gathered all the information fed to him at basketball practices and worked to use them to support his claim. Friendship was weighing on him more heavily than respect for his senpai. Leaning closer, he started, "Er, he...isn't that good at basketball, but...but he er, he...he always gets to represent the school because the team manager is his best friend."

Yurie leaned her chin on her hand as she watched Yamashita struggle with his words.

"And his muscles," he continued, eyes flicking to the ceiling. "That's not because he works out. The secret behind those muscles is protein powder."

He seemed to have successfully drawn out his inner devil and razor sharp words were gathering at the bottom of his throat, waiting to be used in a full fledged attack. "And then there's this habit of his. He watches porn every weekend!"

"Sa-kun, you don't watch them?"

"Well, I...Eh?" he peeled his eyes from the ceiling and stared at Yurie, speechless.

Without waiting for a reply, Yurie continued, "Besides, what are you trying to do by putting him down like that? To emphasize that I was blind to like him?"

"No, that's not what I meant," Yamashita clarified nervously with Yurie's eyes searing in him.

"Sou?" Yurie asked, resting her elbows on the table and crossing her fingers slowly. "Then why don't you go tell senpai how uncool he is? Tell him 'It's your loss for letting go such a good girlfriend'."

With that, she grabbed Yamashita's arm and stood up abruptly. 

"Eh?" Yamashita looked at Yurie blankly.

Smiling tightly, Yurie tugged at his arm lightly in a way reminiscent of a mother duping her child into visiting a dentist. "Let's go! To senpai's apartment." 

Getting up, Yamashita allowed himself to be pulled away from the table even as he protested anxiously. "Yurie! You don't really mean it right? He's our senpai afterall. We can't..."

"Let's go, Sa-kun!" 
 
Author's notes
¹ Yabe: Colloqual way of saying Yabai (Oh no).
² Nee-chan: Affectionate way of saying Oneesan (Elder sister).
³ Ite: Colloqual way of saying Itai (Painful).
⁴ Conbini: Convenience Store.
⁵ Sensei: Teacher.
⁶ Gomen: Sorry.
⁷ Sou: Is that so?
⁸ Demo daijyoubu jan: But it's alright, isn't it?
⁹ Senpai: Senior.
¹⁰ Sa-kun no baka: Stupid Sa-kun! 
¹¹ Maa: Well. 
¹² Chotto matte yo: Wait up!